Sunday, October 9, 2011

it's gone by so fast

This was the 4th day of your life
4 months in heaven

Sophee, It has been 16 weeks since the last time I help your warm body.  I can still remember the smell, and feel the wrinkles on your were so skinny after all. I just adore those memories.  You snuggled in mommy's chest, so natural.  I was so difficult to hold you while you were intubated. I was so fearful of the tube becoming dialoged becasue when I put you against my chest you trying digging yourself deeper and deeper.  I am not sure where the time has gone.  I can recall the details of the day you died like it just happened but then it feels like forever since I was able to touch you! I spent 6 1/2 months doing nothing but caring for you and holding you.  We spent so much time in the rocking chair it was almost as if you knew when we were not in it.  I tried putting you in the bed with me several times but that wasn't what you wanted. And boy did you have an opinion. You knew up until that least breath who you wanted and how you wanted it! I miss you...You are a picture of God's perfection and a story of His grace...I can't believe this amount of time has come and gone.


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