Tuesday, January 24, 2012

from one dragon mom to another...

please please read this article

Jimmy was given this article tonight at the boy's grief group.  Let me tell you that I could feel every word this woman said and the eloquence she used to explain where many of us have been is beautiful.  I get being a dragon mom, not many do, its tabu to discuss...but I knew at 18 weeks pregnant with Sophee that she would NEVER live a full life.  I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that one day I would help her to Jesus's arms.  Can I please tell you that while I am typing this I am heavy handed...I was able to bring my sweet girl home, do nothing but cuddle her, love her, and rock her...I changed her clothes at least twice a day, she always had a bow in her hair, I pumped every 3 hours...all of this I did knowing she was going to die.  With the help of others I was able to spend my days and nights in the hospital cooing over her, loving her, praying with her...that was a blessing to be able to do nothing but love for 6 months...now that she is gone I am still catching up from the things that went left undone...the bills, the cleaning..and yes it has been 7 months! All of it...WORTH IT!!!!! I wish life could carry on like that.  I have a small savings account for my boys (small!) but you know what we get through one day at a time.  and there was somethings Sophee taught me that I may have never learned other wise.  One of the most important things is to cherish the small things, and to appreciate the normal!  I had no idea life could be ab-normal! Now you hear of ab-normal test result but an ab-normal life?  I am so grateful this Dragon Mom expressed herself...she says in the last paragraph " But today Ronan is alive and his breath smells like sweet rice. I can see my reflection in his greenish-gold eyes. I am a reflection of him and not the other way arpund, and this is, I believe, as it should be.  This is a love story, and like all great love stories, it idd s story of loss.  parenting I've come to understand, is about loving my child today!. Now, in fact, for any parent anywhere, that's all there is."  I love her emphasis on loving her child TODAY! and her gentle reminder to all parents...that really that is all we have.  We get caught up in all the hoopla of my kid can, or my child will, or I can send my kid to _____college....but what happens when ab-normal knocks on your door...and all your plans go right out the window? There is nothing about my life that was ab-normal...then God gave me Sophee and I am so grateful that little girl rocked my world! <3


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